


Love all of me

by lauvlau



Category: ATEEZ (Band), ONEUS (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sad, just read i guess, kinda cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:08:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25851862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauvlau/pseuds/lauvlau
Summary: In were Dongju’s past relationship was a horrible experience and in this new one he is afraid that is going to crumble too. He is hurting, but is not the only one
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Son Dongju | Xion
Kudos: 6





	Love all of me

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: rape (slightly mentioned), mental and physical abuse, language

He had seen it coming. They have been fighting more and more about petty things. Don’t get him wrong, is not that he gets annoyed by everything the other did, but classes had him irritated to the point that even a mosquito would get him heat up in a second. Jongho saw it coming too, but he really was tired from his family problems to like actually try to understand what was happening with the other. He knew his boyfriend could be petty, or fight for dumb shit, but his mind processed it without care, made it a bigger deal than it actually was, because of the pen up tension. **_If I’m being honest, everyone could saw it coming, the two boys have been getting harsher with anything across their way, the usually sweet, joking guy, that Jongho is, was replace with this tough, ‘I don’t give a fuck’ type of guy and Dongju, even though he could be distant with his friends sometimes, it didn’t get as bad as now, so really, everyone kind of saw it coming_**.

This time the fight was about the laundry. Jongho has just gotten home to a piss-off-his-ass Dongju.

“What the fuck?” said the younger, while taking his shoes off, as the other pulled his shirt roughly try to pull him inside the house but instead making him lose his balance, resulting in the other falling on his face.

“Apparently I’m never clear enough for you to understand me” Dongju said almost yelling, not caring that Jongho’s cheek was getting red from the fall, _it’s his fault anyways_.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” the other said, getting annoyed by the second while getting up of the floor, _he is getting on my nerves again_.

“I said, that apparently I’m never fucking clear in this goddamn house, cause you never understand a simple thing as putting the clothes in the laundry” the smaller said, while pointing an accusatory finger to the other, eyes narrowed waiting for a shitty response.

“Are you calling me stupid?” Jongho’s face hardened, _he must be joking, right?_

“Now don’t put words in my mouth that I haven’t said” the older responded.

“Im not putting words in your mouth, you literally just called me fucking stupid because I, what? Didn’t put the damn clothes in the fucking laundry? If you could get you head out of your fucking ass you could see that it is your fucking time to do that, I been doing it for the past month because apparently you been too fucking busy to do something as simple as that” the younger said, raising his voice by the second, with how mad he was getting.

“Oh I’m sorry, now it’s my fault that I’m busy with my classes, work and taking care of my sister while your lazy ass does nothing, sorry that I care about my future not like you” he responded, getting closer to the other.

“You fucking piece of shit, you know the fucking reason about me not being in school right now, but okay, go ahead, everything has to be about you right? You can’t never see the problems the people around you are going through” Jongho said while passing by him, going to the kitchen to drink some water, a small headache getting to him.

“Oh boohoo, the big baby has problems going on, so what? You aren’t special, everyone has problems, but in comparison we are grownups and deal with it, not like you crying like a bitch about it” _everything had to do with him uh? Hasn’t he notice I’m hurting too?_

With this all hell break lose. Jongho got so mad at the other that he took the glass he had in his hand and tossed to the other, making the older startled at the sound of the object crashing behind him. He looked up, angry at the other while taking a plate and trowing it in the direction of the younger. Dishes were thrown, insults were said, finally all that tension was being let out, in the worst way, but it was being laid out.

“You know what? Maybe we shouldn’t be together, we’re are a mistake, we don’t work anyways”

Jongho’s hand stop at that, the spoon he had been holding falling to the ground as those words keep ringing in his head, he couldn’t believe it, but at the same time, they were kind of true.

“Yeah, maybe we are a mistake” his voice got smaller “maybe it was a mistake thinking that we could make it work” He looked at the older in the eyes, a tear running down his cheek “maybe we aren’t meant to be”. The two keep looking at each other, nobody said anything.

Finally, Dongju’s words click in his brain, he couldn’t believe what he said, he didn’t mean that.

“Jongho”

“Save it, I don’t wanna know how much of a fuck up I am” he said, with a raspy voice, while taking his keys, jacket and his bag.

“No, wait” but it was too late, the other had storm off the house, leaving a devastated Dongju, and a so-called home, a mess.

\---

Tears blurred his vision as he drove to the only safe place he thought of. _Only a couple of minutes and you’ll be there._ He decided to called her, just in case, even though he knew she was gonna be there.

“Sup bitch! Missed me that much that you had to call?” She sounded happy. _Maybe is not a good idea going to her, I don’t want to ruin her night._ Silence, he couldn’t speak a word.

“Jongho?” She sounded worried now, _fuck, I’m so stupid, I can’t even say hi._ “hey, Jongho, are you okay?”

“No” he whispered, more tears running down his face.

“Oh baby, tell me where you are and I’ll pick you up” the sound of keys sounding at the other part of the line had him crying more, _she was so precious, he didn’t deserve her._

“Don’t worry, I’m almost at your house” he said, voice cracking with emotion.

“Okay, I’ll go make some food up then, the door is open as always”

“Okay” his small voice being the only thing she heard as he hung up.

_Why was she like this with him? He didn’t deserve people like her, caring so much as to cook for him or making sure he was okay, at least Dongju thinks that, based on what he said._

The thought making him cry more.

Having arrived at her house he stayed in his car for a little bit, trying, but failing, to stop crying. _I am really a mess uh?_ He didn’t even brought clothes.

She noticed he had arrived, but decided to give him time, worry consuming her nonetheless. He sounded like a wreck on the phone call. The sound of her door opening pulled her out of her thoughts. Never in a million years she would be prepare to see the tear stain face of her best friend, looking like a sad, wet puppy.

“Oh honey” she walked to him, opening her arms.

He broke down in tears again. He couldn’t believe what had happened.

They stood there for minutes, maybe hours, just him crying and her holding him, being his only pillar, right now, that he could trust with his life. It was gonna be a long night, but they had time.

\---

“Taemi” Dongju shakingly said to his phone “Taemi” he repeated as he broke down in tears.

“Dongju? Are you okay?” she said while making signals to Yunho to take the car keys.

“Can you come over please?” he responded in a whisper.

“I’m on my way” she said while hanging up, she was worried about the younger.

She moved quickly, getting anxious by the second, Dongju never called her while crying, so this was something big.

“Yunho, baby, I’ll gotta go, I’ll come as soon as possible?” She said, while putting her shoes on.

“Don’t worry baby, call me if anything happens, okay?” He said, while kissing her cheek.

“Okay” she gave him one last kiss; an I love you leaving her mouth as she ran out of their house to go see her best friend.

Entering Dongju and Jongho’s house got her shocked, the place was a mess. Dishes where scatter around the house, pillows and glasses where on the floor, even cutlery was in random places. Looking at the sofa, she could see the shaking figure of Dongju, heart breaking at the red, teary face that looked back at her.

“oh honey, what happen? Where is Jongho? Are you okay?” _did they fight? Why is it such a wreck in here?_ She thought while looking around the place. The poor guy couldn’t even talk, just holding on to her while trying to calm down.

“he left, an- and its all my fault” _if I just had process what I was saying, if maybe we had talk like civilized people then maybe we would be hugging right now, solving the problems that had been developing recently_. He thought while hanging on to her, he didn’t want to think what this could mean in their relationship, since his last one started falling apart like this, **_not that much people knew about it, only his best friends and me, the one telling this story._**

“I’m sure is not, and even if it is, I know you guys are going to work it out” she gently said while rubbing her hand on his back, trying to calm him down as a new set of fresh tears came out of his eyes.

Hours past, and both men spend it with their best friends, basking the feelings and actions that happen not that long ago. For Dongju’s part he thought that maybe it was all lost, that Jongho would never comeback and that he would lose the most important thing in his life, the only source of happiness that he had right now. From Jongho’s part he blame himself for all that was happening, believing the words that Dongju’s angered mind had scream at him, even if he knew it wasn’t true, he still believe them, he thought that he was the reason to blame for all that had happen between them and his other problems.

**_For us to know why these two thought of themselves like this, we have to look at the past._ **

_6 years before_

_Dongju found himself laying down on a bed, white walls and lights around him, the steady sound of a matching working beside him, he didn’t know where he was, the only thought in his mind was how scared he had been for his life, how did it got to this? If he was being honest, people told him that something like this would happen, but because he was so invested on being with someone, he chose to ignore it. **I mean, don’t all victims of abuse at some point validate their attacker’s actions? Even if others try to save them?** _

_It all started when he met Chung-Hee. It was at his favorite, and work place, coffee shop. **Between you and me, it was like movie scenery, too perfect, too soon and too much, you could see it was kind of weird**. For Dongju though, being a sucker for romantic movies, he believed they were destined to be together, like the protagonist of any romantic movie that comes to mind. _

_He was sitting by the window, bored out of his mind waiting for Taemi, they had arranged to meet there before going to the movies together where they would meet Joon-ah, when, he saw him, the sun hitting directly behind him, making him seem like an angel, **something that soon into the story it would turn out to be wrong.** _

_The friendship, quickly becoming relationship, started almost as soon as they meet. Turns out Chug-Hee was a very direct person and after laying eyes on Dongju, he wanted to be his friend. **What he really wanted was to fuck and ditch, but soon discovered he had to slowly build up to that, he had to act like those fuckboys that tell their catch what they want to hear, so they can get some.** This action made Dongju impress, making him more attracted to this mysterious man. _

_He decided to keep talking to him, even against the recommendations from his two best friends and coworker soon-to-be friend, there was just something inside of him that told him he was the one, a very special one. He couldn’t describe it, something made him very attracted to that man. Soon enough, for Dongju, the friendship became relationship and two months in it, it started. **Being sincere, I’m surprise it didn’t take less to blow.**_

  * **_Before I get into this part, if you or a friend, or someone close to you is suffering from violence, please contact the local authorities, try to find help before it’s too late. -_**



****

_It started small, some insults here and there, and when he was confronted, he would only say it was joking. Every time Dongju wanted to talk to him about something, he would complain, either saying it was boring or that he didn’t have time._

_It slowly made Dongju feel insecure, everything he did, the other acted out, and said, it bother him, he couldn’t talk to his friends without Chung-Hee thinking he was cheating on him, or either get out sometimes, but the worst thing was the sex, even if Dongju didn’t want to, he had to let the other do what he wanted, after all it was because Chung-Hee loved him. **At least that was the lie he was told and the poor boy believe it.** _

_6 months into the relationship, **if we can call it that** , Chung-Hee got violent, he would arrive with a scold on his face and start throwing stuff around, after a couple of times Dongju knew better than trying to stop him, having resulted with a black eye and a broken rib one time. Still, even if he kept his distance, that didn’t make sure that he was safe from the other’s wrath. _

_It was horrible, he had to start wearing turtlenecks to hide the chocking marks in his neck that were either from the sex, **its non-consensual sex but Dongju didn’t saw it that way since the other put it in his mind that it was the only way he could prove his love to him**_ , _or from when Chung-Hee would hold him against the wall to yell or kick at him, the majority of the time doing both._

_It was bad since he couldn’t talk to anybody at all, even if his friends were worried about him._

_One time he tried to stand up to the other, deciding to evade the slap coming his way and tried to reason with Chung-Hee, this, however, made the other more mad that he already was, taking Dongju roughly by the hand and dragging him to the hallway closet they never used. Dongju stilled, he didn’t know what this man could be capable of._

_“wh-what are you doing” said a terrified Dongju looking up at his attacker. The other didn’t respond, he just openned the door and looked down at the shivering man._

_“get in.”_

_“what?”_ the fuck is he thinking about?

_“I said. Get. The. Fuck. In” Chung-Hee said while grabbing the younger man from the hair and throwing him inside, not before attacking him again, leaving the other with a bloody nose and a hurting head._

_“since you want to be such a whore and try to go out with every person that even looks your way, I’m locking you up” he proceed to kick him again “that one is for trying to stop me” he kicked him again and again, listing absurd ‘reasons’ to validate his attack. Finally, stopping, he lower down to the other man and laid a hand on his head, the smaller one visibly flinching, thinking he was getting hit again._

_“just know I’m doing this because I love you and because you give me no choice” and with that he closed the door and locked it._

_Dongju would spend three days inside that closet, without food or a way of getting out. He tried to scream but gave up on the idea when the other quickly got close to the door to yell at him, hitting the door hard enough that dust started flying everywhere, while telling him ‘that’s what he’ll get if he didn’t shut up’. He didn’t try anything more after that, letting the other man do what he wanted._

**_The locking became a regular thing, sometimes for as little as three days and the longest one being two weeks and a half, the motherfucker even inviting his friends over to play while Dongju was lock up and almost running out of oxygen_ ** _._

_But through all this, he still thought he deserve it. Chung-Hee had manipulated and controlled Dongju so much, he made him believe that he was the reason for all of it._

****

_On the other hand, Chung-Hee’s attacks on Dongju were being less caution less and Dongju was getting out of excuses to validate his injures and disappearances. His best friends had noticed his lack of communication, he tried to act as if nothing was happening but they knew better. **To some degree they kind of suspected what was happening but because there was a lack of communication, and because of the sneaky son-of-a-bitch that Chung-Hee was, they couldn’t predict the scale of the problem enough to do something.**_

_After the last locking, Dongju decided it was time to put an end to this, it had been a year and a half already since this abuse started and he couldn’t continue like this, he needed to escape but was afraid. He decided to tell his friends. He was running when he spotted his best friends house, it was now or never, he was gonna tell them._

_Panting, he run up the staircase, not caring to wait for the elevator in case he was being followed, just the thought of that make him shiver but more determined on telling them, he couldn’t keep thinking and living like this. Arriving at their door he noticed how little energy he had, if it wasn’t for the adrenaline of running, he couldn’t have even made it to the apartment complex._

_From the outside he could hear how calm and happy the ambience, on the other side of the door, was, to the point that he didn’t want to upset it and thought of leaving, but the pain in his ribs, cheeks and almost his entire body is what made him stay. Raising his shaky hand, he knocked on the door their secret code, the one that let the three behind the door know he was in danger or pain, in the speed of light, the door opened. Two pair of worried eyes met him checking his entire state while growing pale by the second._

_“is not as bad as it looks like” he tried to say, but knew they weren’t gonna buy it, having used that excuse a lot lately._

_“bullshit, Dongju, you’re shivering, clutching your side and cannot even stand well. Don’t you dare tell me again that is nothing or that is not bad, for fuck sake even your lip is bleeding!” Iljun said, Taemi by her side too shock to try to stop her girlfriend from going off on the poor boy._

_Looking down, tears starting to fall, both from seeing how bad he is hurting his friends and from thinking how mess up the situation is, he whispered “I’m sorry” before falling to his knees full on sobbing._

_Both girls were shock and sad to see their bubbly friend in so much pain. Reacting quickly one of them took him by the arm and drag him inside of their apartment._

****

_After calming a little bit, he told them everything, from the beginning to the current events that had him running for his life and for help. Through all this Taemi had to pin Iljun down, she was so mad because of the events that she wanted to go and beat the bastard on her own, and because she was capable they had to try to calm her down too **, she is scary when mad you know?** But then, after all, there was a question pending in the air, what could they do? _

_“we have to call the police” said a very serious Iljun._

_At that Dongju tense, he couldn’t do that, if Chung-Hee knew about it he would kill him in a heartbeat._

_“n-no, we can’t” he said terrified. Taemi looked at him and hugged him, trying to calm him a little bit._

_“yes, we can, you are in a toxic relationship and constant abuse, we have to get you out of it before it scales to worsts things” she said while trying to calm him down._

_“but what is he knows? He could-” he couldn’t bring himself to say it, not really needing to when he felt Taemi tense beside him and seeing, in the corner of his eyes, Iljun stop in her tracks, realization hitting them like a bucket of cold water._

_Minutes passed, the three of them trying to find a safe and quick solution to the problem._

_“one of us could call and tell the police we are worried that you are in an abusive relationship, so they can check for themselves” said Taemi reclining on the sofa._

_“that’s actually not a bad idea” said Iljun on her fifth glass of water while pacing around the room. “they can analyze the situation and when they arrest him and everything, we can give our testimonies.”_

**_It wasn’t a bad idea, it was the safest and secure way they saw that would help them make the police know and believe that Dongju was, in fact, in an abusive relationship. It generated evidence, that was necessary, and more in this case that is a gay man being the one abused, since stereotypes lead to others not believing what it actually is happening, even if it was in front of them._ **

**_So, they decided to do that._ ** _Once there was a census that everyone was on the same page, Iljun called the police, giving them all the information that she had of Dongju and Chung-Hee’s relationship, and they told her that they would ‘look into it’ and promised to keep her informed. Next step was to ensure that Dongju wouldn’t go back to that house, under any circumstances would they leave him alone with the him, not knowing what the other could be capable of anymore, but that quickly was thrown out the window when they heard loud knocks followed with loud screams by their door._

_“um what the fuck?” whisper a very nervous Taemi. Iljun just looked at her, expression unreadable while making a shushing signal to both of them._

_“don’t make a sound and go to the room, now.” She whispered back to her girlfriend and best friend in such a serious manner that maybe both of them shiver._

_“what are you going to do?” whispered Dongju towards her, not moving an inch._

_“don’t worry abo-” she was interrupted by more loud knocking and screaming._

_“Open the FUCK UP, I know he is in there!”_

_“I swear to god if both of you are not in the room in 5 seconds, I will take you there myself” she whispered to them, seeing the sheer terror in their faces, she relaxed a little bit._

_“don’t worry about me, I’ll try to stall him and make him leave, nothing is going to happen so now go, I cannot do anything if I know you are in the same room with me” she said looking at both of them, caressing Taemi’s face, the ladder pulling the former in a little kiss._

_“promise me you won’t do anything crazy” she said with tears in her eyes, the smaller looking at Dongju for a moment and then back at her_

_“I promise, but promise, both of you, that’s no matter what, you won’t come out of that room, ok?”_

_“But what if-” Dongju try to say._

_“Just promise me Dongju. Please.”_

_Knock after knock could be heard._

_“I promise.”_

**_With that both Dongju and Taemi got up without making a sound, Iljun following them with an unreadable stare, seeing them enter the room, flashing a smile before the door could close and after hearing the clicking sound, indicating the lock was on, she decided to look at the front door, plan forming in her mind._ **

****

_Looking through the peep hole of the door had her confirming who it was._

_“what the fuck do you want? Don’t you see is fucking 3am?” she said, getting her phone out and sending a small text to her other girlfriend, Bora, and quickly putting 9-1-1 on speed dial._ I hope I don’t need it though.

_“you know really well why I am here at this hour, where is he?” he said, banging the door with each word._

_“if you don’t get the fuck out of my fucking apartment, I will call the police, do you understand?”_

_“and who the fuck do you think you are? You think I care if you call the police? I just came for what is mine”_

_“Listen you piece of shit, Dongju is not your fucking property, he is a human being, and I don’t know what gave you the impression that he is here but he is not. So, I won’t repeat this again, GET THE FUCK OUT.”_

_“I won’t until I take him, I know he is here because he is a bitch who doesn’t have friends, I made it that way so he couldn’t run away from me.”_

_At that moment Iljun couldn’t handle it anymore, she pressed the call button, announcing that there was a guy that was trying to get into her apartment, but just in the moment she tried to hide, the door opened. **There was a lot of chaos, punches were thrown, things got broken, the whole deal.** **On the room, Taemi and Dongju found themselves scared to death, both had tears running down their cheeks just thinking on what was happening to the other by the sounds that were heard all around**. Suddenly, everything stopped, there was a silence filled with tension that lasted about 2 minutes but felt like hours, almost years._

_Then, footsteps, and suddenly the knob trying to turn and more pounding._

****

_“I know you’re in there Dongju, so I advise you to just come to me if you don’t want to end up like your friend here.” A whimper was heard._

_“Do-don’t” said a smaller voice, making Taemi gasp and both of them cry harder that before. Then a thud followed by a groan of pain._

_“Dongju” singsong that dreadful voice “come out now, I promise I won’t hurt you”_

**_Inside the closet Taemi quickly took Dongju’s hand in hers, moving her head from side to side letting him know not to do what he was thinking._ **

_“remember the promise” she said in his ear._

_But Dongju couldn’t think straight, his friend was hurting trying to protect him, he didn’t deserve such caring friends when he is only putting them in danger, it was all his fault for trying to escape something that he deserved._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Dongju no, wait a mom-”_

_But it was too late, Dongju got out of the closet, quickly blocking it with a chair so Taemi couldn’t follow him._

_“I’m so sorry for putting you guys in danger, I don’t deserve friends like you guys.”_

_“No, Dongju, no, don’t you dare say that!” screamed Taemi at him, banging the closet door while tears run down her eyes._

**_Nonetheless the door didn’t budge, making her watch how her friend opened the door, receiving a kick to the stomach as soon as the door made the clicking noise, while she making the small man land hard against the wall, knocking his head, while she couldn’t do something. Chung-Hee looked back at her, opening the room door and smiling with triumph while he picked her friend up._ **

****

_“in the end, I will always win.”_

_And with that he leaved, Dongju on his shoulder non-responsive. While going through the hallway, he kicked Joon-ah again, when she tried to stand up, making her fall back without any more energy. This action made Taemi look down at her partner and the site made her react._

****

**_After that Taemi quickly screamed for help, trying to search for a phone from her position, finding her girlfriend’s one in the middle of the living room still on the 9-1-1 call. The paramedics and police arrived. And soon, they were met with Bora too._ **

****

**_At least the injuries Iljun suffered weren’t that bad but still, the dread and realization of the situation didn’t sit well with them, you see, it had been a month since the incident but there was absolutely no word or sign from Dongju and Chung-Hee, the police went to their house that same night and the next day but it was empty, nobody had seen or heard from them for days, and it was worrisome._ **

****

**_Until, a sign of hope arrived. The police received an anonymous call letting them know they had seen someone that looked like Chung-Hee. They quickly moved and followed him, finding that he was hiding in a Wearhouse. Soon, an entire S.W.A.T team surrounded the place. Everything happen so fast, but in the end Chung-Hee was arrested and Dongju rescued. Those news made the three girls calm down a little bit more._ **

****

**_A couple of months passed, the trials for the case of Chung-Hee were happening, Iljun, Taemi and Bora gave their testimonies, Iljun even showing a recording of the night he attacked Iljun and kidnapped Dongju. Through it all, the four of them stayed together. Because of the last events and the constant abuse Dongju received, the three of them decided to go to therapy together, building each other from the ground stronger that ever._ **

****

**_Now you may be wondering where does Jongho appears on the story? Well his story, his story begins like this._ **

****

**_Since middle school Jongho wasn’t very social, he could talk to a lot of people but a very small amount he would consider as friends, and an even smaller amount as close friends. In high school he became kind of popular, a lot of people, especially girls, wanted to be his friend just because he was attractive and had good grades. But all of this didn’t mean he became social, yeah, he talked to more people, compare to middle school, but only one would he consider his closest and precious friend._ **

_Iljun was a new student at Jongho’s high school and the two just click from the beginning. They quickly became really good friends, even making people think they were a couple. But not everything was as chill and fun as it appeared._

_At the beginning of high school, Jongho’s parents were having financial problems since his dad was starting to have an alcohol problem, by 10 th grade his dad started to get violent with his mom and by 11th grade they finally got a divorce, but this led to another problem. Jongho and his little sister ended up with their dad, them now being the targets of his abuse, because their mother decided to not care for them anymore, saying that she was reminded of her ‘past mistakes’. _

**_In 12 th grade, Jongho almost couldn’t graduate because of the situation on his house, his dad had force him to get a job because, and I quote, “if you want to keep living in this house, you have to pay for what you, and that little bitch of sister that you have, consume” and really, he could have left but he couldn’t bear think what would happen to his sister if he did and is not like he could take her, because she was a minor, meaning their dad had her custody and wouldn’t give it up so easy, even if he didn’t want her, plus Jongho didn’t had a stable job that could make him have her custody. _ **

_“hey, are you okay?” Iljun said one day after noticing the dark the circles under his eyes._

_“not really” he said back, fighting sleep in the middle of the presentation their classmates had for an English class. “my so-called dad has been on my ass for me to pay him but I told him countless of times that I’m getting paid late because I couldn’t show up last week, because of the trip that we had, and now I have to work double shifts if I want to keep the job plus I’ll get paid a week later than regular because of it, but as always he doesn’t get it and has threat me on throwing me out of the house.”_

_“how much is he asking for?”_

_“uh? $xxx, why? Wait don’t te-”_

_“yes, I am, you are my friend so don’t worry, you can pay me back by going out to eat with me and sleeping more, ok?” she said, cutting him before he could continue._

_“I can’t let you do that”_

_“and why is that?” she challenged him, keeping her stare to see what he would say._

_“because…is my responsibility, I should be able to take care of my little sister and myself.” He said while avoiding her stare._

_“no, you are supposed to focus on studying and doing what makes you happy, your parents are supposed to look after you, but since that isn’t the case, you don’t have to suffer alone if there are willing people around you that wants to help you. So, what I’m trying to tell you is that I don’t mind helping you, at all.”_

_“Iljun-ah…I-, don’t make me cry man, but thanks, really, I’ll try to pay you every penny, I’m serious.”_

_“and I’m telling you that is not necessary, I’m always welcomed to help, you know that.”_

_And just like that, Jongho became more grateful of his small, fierce friend. She helped him see that he was worth helping, and that even if his situation was peculiar, there was someone there to help him through it._

**_Time quickly passed and suddenly they graduated, they even ended up going to the same university by chance, and that helped them span their friendship even more. By the beginning of their first year, both were taking constant care of Byung-Ram, Jongho’s little sister. Even if Jongho didn’t had her custody, he was still able to be part of her live, and now with her best friend too._ **

****

**_I’m not gonna lie to you, the beginning was rough for both of them, balancing between classes, a job and taking care of Byung-Ram together._ **

****

**_Since Byung-Ram was still a child, Jongho had to either take full custody of her (and for that there was a lot of process he would gladly do but couldn’t because of the lack of stability in his life) or continue living with his father, Jongho choosing the lather just so he was sure his sister was being good taken care of._ **

****

**_For the second year of college, Iljun met Taemi, who which in a year later would start a relationship and live together. This made things easier for Jongho because he now had a place he and his sister could stay occasionally (however long his father would allow him to) and where Byung-Ram could be greatly taken care of when he couldn’t be with her. But Jongho only knew about the existence of Taemi and not Dongju, the girl’s other best friend._ **

****

**_They met in a cafe, Dongju’s favorite one, when he started working in it and it was the girl’s first time going, it became a great friendship._ **

****

**_Their third year went as normal as they could be, Jongho still lived with his father, took care of his sister, with the help of his amazing best friend and friend and stilled study so he could become a better person overall. The year passed quickly by._ **

****

**_And soon it was their fourth, and hopefully last year. In this year somethings went downhill. Dongju got into his abusive relationship with Chung-hee and Jongho almost didn’t graduate because of his father. This one deciding that Jongho had to get out of his house and almost made him cut all communications with his 5-year-old sister. This obviously made Jongho suffer a lot, but there was nothing he could do, at least he has his best friend, with now two girlfriends, apartment on which he could stay for a while until he could get back on is feet and figure what he was going to do._ **

****

**_Cut to graduation day, where the group of four, minus Dongju, finally can rest for a while, having made it through a lot on that year. With this Jongho decided that he preferred to start working full time, now trying to get a better job with his degree, so he could start the process on the custody of his sister._ **

_“hey Jongho, are you busy this weekend”_

_“umm, not really? I was thinking of chilling out a little bit since I don’t have too much work this week, why?” he said while stretching a little bit in his sit, lunch long gone by now._

_“great, I was asking to see if you wanted to come by, the girls and a friend of us want to hang out, taking advantage that we don’t have any work or labs to study for, what do you think?” said the voice on the other side on his phone, conversations in the background filtering in._ It would be a good idea since it been sometime since he last saw her, but on the other hand he wanted to see his sister.

_“I would like to, but I haven’t seen my sister in like two weeks and I really miss her” he said, feeling a little sad that he couldn’t spend time with both of them._

_“oh well, in that case I completely get it, if you want tho, you could bring her over? I miss her a lot and I know the girls have miss her too, of course you don’t have to, it just a suggestion” well now that was a good offer._

_He suddenly remembered the guest coming over and how he didn’t know if the person would be comfortable with a child around._

_“would your friend mind?” he asked, feeling a little shy at the thought of meeting someone new._

_“Dongju? Oh don’t you worry about him, he loves kids and already knows about Byung-Ram, so there is nothing to worry about”_

_Well that calm him a lot_

_“ok, if you say so then expect us over the weekend then” he said smiling due to the scream the other let out upon hearing his response._

_“great!” she said once she calmed down “I’ll make your favorite then”_

**_And with that the conversation was over. The weekend came fast since Jongho hasn’t felt as excited as he did now since he started working, having something to look forward to really helped him relax and do work quicker_ ** _._

_Friday night, after leaving work, he decided to pick his sister and start spending time with her._

_“hey ramram, I have a gift for you!” he said while helping her get out of her car sit and eventually entering to his apartment._

_“really?” she said while holding his hand with sparkling eyes._

_“really” he answered, opening the door and letting her enter first. “it’s in the sofa so if you want you can open it now”_

_That prompted the girl to run towards the living room, almost falling in the process._

_“careful ramram” said a smiling Jongho, he really couldn’t imagine a life without her._

_To say the girl enjoyed her gift was an understatement, she loved it. **And more because it came from her big brother, the best one in the world.** _

_With this he made dinner, constantly checking on her to make sure everything was ok, proceeding to end the evening by both of them falling sleep on the couch. **It was so cute! I wish I could draw so you would see it.**_

_9:00 am arrived to Jongho with a Byung-Ram sitting in his chest while she painted his face with water markers saying “I was making you beautiful like aunt Iljun”, the earful said aunt would get from him would not compare to the picture said girl now had on her phone with the caption “Byung-Ram made me as beautiful as you._

_He proceeded to get the both of them ready, and by 11am they went to the park nearby for a while._

_By 2:00 pm Byung-Ram was hungry and a little bit tired of running around so he decided it was time to go to Iljun’s apartment, her never telling him at what time he had to arrive. On the way he decided to buy some ice cream, knowing it was going to be appreciated by everyone because of the hot days that have been coming lately._

_Arriving at his best friend’s apartment, he realized he arrived a little bit too early, Bora still being at work and Taemi just finishing a quick trip to the supermarket._

_“so I guess we arrived a little bit early uh?” he said scratching his neck, feeling a little bit awkward without reason._

_“jejeje you did, but its ok, there is no problem and more because I missed my favorite person in the world and I have her all for me now” Iljun said while picking up Byung-Ram who gladly hug her, being excited to see her aunt after a long time._

_“hey so you didn’t miss me?” said Jongho to her, faking a pout to hide the smile slowly creeping up his face._

_“no more than your sister” said the other with a laugh “I’m joking I missed you too. Now let’s move from the entrance and have fun until the others get here.”_

_And that they did, not before giving some food to Byung-Ram until Iljun could start cooking, of course. Not that later Taemi arrived with the groceries, taking over playing with the little girl while her girlfriend started cooking._

_A little past 5:00pm, Bora arrived. Jongho had met her a couple of times so he didn’t feel that weird when she gave him a hug as a welcome, accompanied by a “we missed you here”, as she then proceeded to say hi to both her girlfriends._

_By 7:00pm the doorbell rang._

_“could you open that Jongho? It must be Dongju” said Iljun, who was just finishing up cooking. “I’ll finish setting up the table don’t worry”_

_With this Jongho putted the rest of the plates in the table and proceeded to walk towards the door and open it too. He couldn’t believe who he saw in front of him. The boy was in a black turtle neck with a jean jacket on top, black jeans that adjusted to his form. He had the cutest eyes he had seen, that looked curiously towards him, making the taller realize he had been staring the other without saying anything._

_“oh um hi” said a very fluster Jongho._

_“hi” said a shy Dongju,_ and really could he get any cuter?

**_Both boys stood there staring at each other_ ** _._

_“oh, pardon my manners, come in” said Jongho, coming out of the little dreamland he was when he heard the laughter of Byung-Ram in the distance. He saw how the other snapped out of his mind at his words, making Jongho wonder what the other was thinking._

**_Both didn’t notice the look Iljun had because of their exchange, a little smile creeping onto her face like she knew something nobody did._ **

_After that the rest of the night when great, everyone was getting along without any problem. Soon it was almost 2:00 am, Byung-Ram asleep on the sofa and everyone a little buzzed from the alcohol that was offered, Iljun decided that it was time everyone went to sleep since they were all probably tired by the week’s activities. The only problem, there was only one guest room available._

_“oh, well don’t worry about that, I can take the couch” said Jongho, looking between Dongju and Iljun._

_“are you-” started saying Iljun before being cut by Dongju._

_“Oh, I can’t let you do that, that sofa looks too small for you, you can take the room is okay”_

_“you don’t have to worry about that, I slept there before and is not that uncomfortable so really is ok, you take the room.”_

_“are you sure? I can sleep there just fine, seriously.”_

_Iljun just watched, fascinated as the other two debated on who would sleep where, but seeing as they weren’t going to get to an accord, she decided to step in._

_“ok ok, since nobody is deciding on anything I’ll say where you guys are sleeping, Jongho take the couch, I know you have slept in there before and Dongju take the room.”_

_Both boys looked at her and then at each other, Dongju looked like he wanted to protest against the arrangement but decided against it when he noticed how everyone was tired._

_“ok” both said._

_With this everyone went to sleep in their designated places, morning coming a little late if it wasn’t for the cheeky voice of Byung-Ram waking them up._

_The day was spent as a lazy one, since nobody was in a rush of going out or doing a task. The only activities they had were cooking and playing with Byung-Ram until the little one tired herself and felt asleep on Jongho’s lap, her head pillowed by Dongju’s thigh._

**_Just as the moon was coming up, Jongho decided it was time to go, he had to sleep early and had to take Byung-Ram back to his father, even if he didn’t want to. With the little ball of sunshine still sleeping, he said his goodbyes to everyone, promising to hang out again and exited towards his car and eventually to his apartment._ **

_After that Dongju and Jongho met a couple more times, both exchanging numbers on the third time when they casually met in Dongju’s workplace. From there a beautiful friendship blossom. They texted each other occasionally, and met with the others too._

\---

_“shit” said Jongho while sitting upside down in his sofa._

_“everything okay in there?” said Iljun from the floor with a lapful of Byung-Ram, the girl too busy ‘making her aunt pretty’ to hear them._

_“I think I like Dongju” said a blushing Jongho, avoiding any eye contact directed his way._

_“did I heard that right?” said Bora from the kitchen at the same time a sigh was heard from Jongho._

_“I think we did” said Taemi, who was searching what movie they were gonna watch on her laptop._

_“omg, shut-” started Jongho at the same time Iljun proclaimed her bet money. “wait, ya’ll betted on this?”_

_“of course, honey since the first day you guys met, I could picture the weeding” said a grinning Iljun, pulling her open palm towards Taemi, who reluctantly gave her the money._

_“we betted on how much time would pass until one of the two of you would realize your feelings on the other” responded Bora coming out of the kitchen with different plates, and after she set them down, passing the money to her girlfriend’s palm, who happily started counting._

_“I can’t believe it, but at the same time I am not surprised”_

\---

_“Taemi?” said Dongju, a light blush on his cheeks from the heat surrounding the garden_

_._

_“yes hon?”_

_“I- I think I like Jongho, as in like, more than friends type of like” he said with a shy voice, the blush more pronounced now, while he looked to the floor._

_“that’s nice Dongju, you should pursuit you know?”_

_“you really think so?”_

_“yes, I do”_

\---

_‘are you coming to my graduation?’ was the text that Jongho received in the middle of his executive meeting._

_‘of course I am’ he replied back as soon as the meeting was over, knowing that Dongju wouldn’t mind the late response._

_‘you’re bringing Byung-Ram, right? I miss her so much’_

_‘I feel that you only want her there and not me jajaja, but of course she is coming, she cannot stop talking about it since I told her’_

_‘you know she is my soft spot, but I really want both of you there to be honest’_

_And if that made Jongho’s heat skip a beat, it was only between him and his heart._

_‘good, cause I want to be there’_

\---

**_Graduation day came and with that everyone was reunited once again. Being an important day, they all decided to take some mini vacations and travel someplace, at least for the weekend._ **

****

_“Dongju, there’s something I want to ask you” said Jongho with clammy hands and beating heart._ Is now or never.

_“ok” replied a nervous Dongju._

_“would you be my boyfriend?”_

_“it would be my honor Jongho” was the response he gave with a small smile taking over his features._

_The taller of the two quickly letting a breath he did not know he was holding._

_“can I kiss you?”_

_“yes please”_

\---

**_With this the beginning of their relationship was marked. Thing went smooth with the pass of the time. Like every relationship there were ups and downs, but they got through it, either by themselves or with the help of their friends._ **

****

**_On their fourth year of relationship thing went a little downhill, Dongju’s sister was diagnosticated with cancer, this forcing Dongju to quit studying for a year so he could help his sister and family. With this we arrived at the beginning of the story, the fight just happened a couple days ago and neither knew what to do._ **

****

“Jongho”

“mm?”

“you know I love you, but you guys have to talk”

He let out a sigh

“I know, but I’m scared that he doesn’t want to see me anymore, nor talk to me again.”

“I know, love is scary but at the same time, we shouldn’t be afraid of it. I have seen your relationship with Dongju, and is a beautiful one, yeah you guys fought but I know you can come up with a solution, don’t you think?”

“yeah, I hope so”

She gave him a small smile. “I know so”

\---

The sound of the doorbell rang through all the house, like a constant reminder to Dongju on how alone he was. The fight had happened a week ago and he was losing hope. Walking to the door he expected to see either of his friend or a random person but not Jongho.

“hi”

“hey” _breath Dongju, breath._

“can I come in?”

_Do I let him enter? I’m not sure if I want to but at the same time it is his home too._

Seeing the hesitation in Dongju’s face he decided that maybe it wasn’t a good idea arriving out of nowhere to the front door.

“um, its okay, you don’t have to” he scratched his neck “can we talk some other time? We could go at any place you feel safe to be in” _it’s the least I could do._

Dongju didn’t know what to say, what would Jongho want to talk about? Was he going to break up with him?

Noticing the glassy eyes and the trembling on Dongju’s hands, Jongho thought the worst.

“fuck, I, uh, I’m sorry, maybe you don’t want to see me anymore, and I get that, um, I’ll just leave, don’t worry.”

And with that he started walking down the stairs. Gray clouds had started traveling around and now were letting the water down, matching the mood Jongho was in.

Dongju, seeing this, quickly ran to the other.

“wait”

A pause.

“I’m sorry”

“you-”

“no wait, let me talk”

“ok”

Rain poured down, obscuring the day and making everything around grey.

“I’m sorry” he said again “for all the things that I said and for how I acted, I was extremely rude with you and you didn’t deserve any of it. I would blame it on my stress, but even on that I should have still had a clear head on the situation. I know you may never forgive me; I can barely forgive myself, but I still want to fight for us and I hope that you want that too.”

Jongho couldn’t believe it, all that worry, and self-loathing was being lifted with every word that Dongju said.

“I’m sorry too and I do want to fight for us” a smiled appeared on his face, being mirrored by the older.

**_And there, touching foreheads and smiling to each other, feeling the other in their arms, they got to the conclusion that everything was going to be fine._ **

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it? Any suggestions are welcomed.


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